I GOT PISSED IN CHINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!O.K. I'm finally going to give you the skinny on my whirlwind Christmas weekend in China...
When I got to Shenyang, China it really seemed geographically similar to Regina and my mind drifted to the goings on, the crazy hustle and bustle, of Christmas in Canada (surprise 1). I also found out right away, unlike Korea (and Japan) China builds out and not up( (surprise 2). It took us like 40 minutes to get from the airport to Karli and Alaina's luxury accommodations at SIE university. It was blizzard to watch the intermingling of the poor and rich as I saw BMWs pass by donkeys pulling wagons (surprise 3)!
When we got to the university Alaina asked if I wanted to visit Karli's class and I said "what the hell ... lets do it!" She was teaching a class with like maybe 40 girls and one poor sap boy! After fielding some questions and singing the class Christmas carols, I posed for what seemed like 20 minutes of pictures. After the photo opp we tailed it back to the luxury suite (Karli's apartment) for some Snow ( a delicious beer brewed locally). We got primed up for a few hours and then went out for some deliciously-delicious Chinese food. The Chinese food in China is nothing like the Chinese food we eat in Canada- in fact you can't get anything that you could in a Canadian "Chinese Food" restaurant.
We drank more Snow until we were all quite drunk. Then dipped over to a rippin Club called Sunnys. At Sunnys we danced, laughed, and drank and drank and drank and drank....
It was so much fun to rip it up with some Reginaonions (If that's not a word, it is now). I ended up getting really capped ... Apparently at Sunnys if you order a Vodka and Coke they bring out a 26 and a 2 L !!!
Having spend over 24 hours awake from the time I got up in Daegu (the time change) to the late morning hours at Sunnys, I managed to loose consciousness at the club. It is really unclear whether it was the busy ass long 24 hour day (just power nappin right?) or the 13 hours of straight drinking that did it but ...
The next day I woke up in Karli's King Size Bed in the LuX suite. It was also like 3 in the afternoon!!! What a night, I can't even remember the last part of the night!!! Alaina and Karli managed to give me a wake up call at this time. They told me they were checking to see if I was still alive! We all gathered in the room and just shot the shit about the ridiculously fun night we had when Alaina spotted it...
"What's this???" she said. Pointing to the corner of the room.
Nobody knew... we all looked at eachother. But nobody knew.
Detective Alaina put her hands in it to check its consistency....
"Ah ha! It's water but where is it coming from?"
Detective carefully scanned the walls, ceiling, baseboards ... but nothing
"Well if its leaking water its got to come from somewhere right?"
We all agreed with the Detective Alaina (afterall who would even consider doubting such a careful and well trained detective like Alaina).
We searched but we found nothing at this point the detective smells her hand hope to pick up the scent on the liquid that covers her hand ... although it looks like water... Sherlock Alaina ain't sure about the smell ..
She asks for a second professional opinion...
Enter Hungover "Matty" Holmes (me)...
He proceeds to sick his hand in it and sniff...
Hungover "Matt" Holmes is a forensic specialist when it comes to unidentified and incriminating fluids and liquids (this fact is not disputed by either Detective Alaina or Karli)...
Hungover Matt gives his expert opinion...
"THIS AIN'T WATER!!!"
He comes up with the only logically scenario...
Last night when Matt got home, he must have been so drunk and so disoriented from being in such a different setting that he unconsciously urinated all over the floor in the far corner of this large bed room!!!!!!!!!
In fact, the place where Matt urinated exactly matches the location of Matt's toilet in his small apartment in back in Daegu (Dat Dat DA)... coincidence ....
I THINK NOT!!!!!!
