* Introductory note: We have two options on getting to Laos from Vietnam. A: The convenient, expensive route. We could go to Hanoi and fly in. B: The budget travelers option. We could take a series of busses that would eventually take us to the capital city of Laos. Since we have the time, we both decided that option B suits us mainly because we get to enjoy the wondrous scenery on the way in. This decision goes against all the advice we have heard from other travelers. There are more than a few horror stories about this option. We risk it.
January 15th 1:30 PM
Our bus was supposed to pick us up by now. There is no sign of it. This is only the beginning.
2:00 PM
We finally get picked up not by our bus but by some sketchy little scuttle bus.
2:45 PM
I think we've drove around this city 4 times now in this shitty little van. We both wonder when we will leave Hoi An.
2:50 PM
They take our tickets and give us new tickets before they drop us onto a big sleeper bus.
Finally we depart Hoi An in a sleeper bus (a bus with seats that are reclined like a lazyboy... ah maybe more like those reclining beach chairs). We we're told that we would be in a seated bus until our transfer to a sleeper bus in Hue at 6:00 PM. Things were better than expected.
3:30 PM
Somebody on the bus farted.
4:00 PM
An unnerving grinding sound is coming from the rear drivers side. That can't be good!
4:30 PM
The bus pulls over into a fix-it-shop located in a small town in the middle of nowhere. Everybody in town takes a look at the problem.
4:45 PM
The rear wheel is completely removed as the whole town gathers around the wheel taking in the unforeseen excitement. We go outside and play with the local children most of which has probably never seen a foreginer before. They are amazed.
5:30 PM
Alissa admits to farting a few hours ago.
5:35PM
The wheel is back on and we're ready to go!
7:00 PM
We arive in Hue. But it seems our connecting bus has already left!
7:10 PM
The workers from the bus company look like they don't know what the fuck they are doing. After an argument between two of the bus workers, one of them approaches us. He claims that we only purchased sitting seats and tells us that we must go to the sitting seats for the remainder of the trip. We tell him that we purchased sleeper tickets and he says that our tickets don't say that. We explain that a man from his bus company took our original tickets which have 'sleeper' written on them and replaced then with these tickets that have 'your screwed' written in invisible ink on them. We tell him, " Do what you want but we're not moving." He gives up, we keep our sleeper seats, and the bus heads to Vinh, Vietnam.
7:30 PM
Alissa admits that it actually wasn't a fart but a quief.
8:30 PM
The bus stops at some small town and we eat the shittiest pho (Vietnamese noodles) we've eaten yet.
9:00 PM
We're on the road again ... We fall asleep.
January 16th Maybe 3:00 AM but don't know for sure.
The bus rouses us from our sleeper-seat slumber. A stern voice urges us with a persistent call of "hurry up, hurry up". Barely awake, we gather our bags and stumble out of the bys only to be enthusiastically greeted by a man, who must be Laos. While Matthew loads the bags into the luggage stored beneath the bus, Alissa ventures into the bus to check out our seats. She is greeted by a bys full of horney Laos men hooting and hollering at the Victoria Secret T.V. Special on the T.V. at the front of the bus (the equivalent to hard core porn in ultra-conservative Laos) and all to the back drop of techno beats blaring from large subwoofers. The excitement seems to peek as these worked up Laos men seem to think that the T.V. special has come to life as Alissa struts down the main aisle in her Lululemon. Stray hands reached for Alissa's bottom, but the party grinds to a silent halt as Matthew boards. The Horney men instantly turned to bashful gentlemen with eyes on the floor as the mannered men made room for the two of us to sit together. The techno beats thumped loader than ever as the bus took off into the dark mountainous distance. As we comfortably nod off to Jessica Simpson in the latest, skimpiest style.
Maybe 4:00 AM but again, we don't really know.
We wake up to complete darkness. No music, no Victoria Secret, just complete darkness and silence. The bus is pulled over into the ditch and even the bus driver is snoring.
5:30 AM
The bus starts up again and we are off into the darkness once more. We doze off.
6:30 AM
The bus wakes us once more as it pulls into the Vietnam boarder check point just as the sun seems to lighten the sky behind jagged shadowed mountains. We are escorted off the 'party bus' and into Vietnamese immigration. Inside are what seems to be a mob of confused travelers with no line to be seen as people hold their passports tightly while waving dollar bills. It's mass confusion in Vietnam immigration!
7:30 AM
After one hour of pushing into line and $2.00 USD of bribes, we finally make our way out of Vietnam and into Laos. The walk from Vietnam immigration to Laos was one of the most beautiful sights we have witnessed as waterfalls careened over rocky streams so high up in the mountains that it gives us a chill.
7:40 AM
We arrived at the laid back, candle lit immigration office in Laos. The pushy Vietnamese crowd gave way to peace & love while everyone patiently waited in-line, in the solace of cast shadows. We checked out the visa fee list, the list that shows what countries must pay to enter we groined at the fact that Canadians had to pay the highest fee. Two women behind us started laughing and joking because they're fee was only a fraction of what we had to pay. They commented that they only married their Mexican husbands so they could travel cheaply!
8:30 AM
We find our bus and hop on hopping it will be an hour or two till we hit the capital. Time seems to take a backseat to scenery. We witness large black stone, jagged topped, monolithic mountains that seem to jut out of the surrounding forest only to have their peeks completely snapped off. We both agree, that this is more like a scene from 'Jurrasic Park' then something we expected to see in Laos.
1:00 PM
Our bus pulls over for some lunch. We had our first 'Beer Lao' and both agree that it's the best damn beer we have ever had. The food is also good.
1:30 PM
Our bus is off again.
We finally arrive in the capital city of Laos, Vientiane. After finding a guesthouse, we watch the sunset on the Mekong with Beer Lao and some of Laos famous Papaya Salad. This single trip has been the longest we have ever had. As the sun reflects pinks and oranges over the quite Mekong we smile and are happy to be in Lao.
