This Is What Happens When You Engulf Yourself (Completely) In Korean Culture...

I had a few holidays to burn off in the next few months and I really wanted to take the plunge and completely cut off ties from my western friends and Western life (what very little remains in Korea) while learning about something Korean that I was interested in. I was going to live with the Buddhist Monks for a week in the temple (I'm not joking) then I was made an offer that I couldn't refuse. A family and close friends of mine (the Kim's) who own and operate a tea art store and also handmade tea in the mountains (I run with interesting crowds here in Korea I tell ya) were going up to Seoul for a week to the International Tea Festival- they gave me the open invitation to go with them. They can only speak limited English and I only very limited Korean so I would really be caught in the thick of it!! I thought it sounded great as I have developed a deep love and appreciation for Korean Tea and yearned for more knowledge. I was to leave with them the morning of Tuesday June 26th at 11:00- here's how the first few hours of the trip went...

I met them at the tea shop just in time to watch them pack as much tea as humanly possible into a white beater mini van and clean the tea shop from top to bottom (it was going to be a crowed ride to Seoul). After departing in a rush 3 hours late, our white beauty broke down filled full of tea that had to make it to Seoul tonight. EEEEE! We had just pumped a 500 won coin into the toll road machiney-thingy and then the van just completely stalled and wasn't going to budge even when the tow truck guy tried his magic on it. So Mr. Kim went with the tow truck guy to the shop in town and we did what all good, old school, conservative Koreans do when things go bad...

We hitched a ride to the temple and prayed to Buddha!

Well actually they prayed to Buddha and I got lost in what seemed like hours of uninterrupted, completely still seated Korean style Zen mediation (I've been doing that a lot these days).

When I came to I was higher than a kite and loving life. After eating some watermelon in the hot-as-balls summer heat with the head monk of the temple and some of the other old Buddhist ladies, and discussing ways off improving zen mediation (the head Buddhist monk apparently speaks good English and gave me a very zen-like answer to my question "What is the best way to practice zen?")...

The time was 4:18 and we were finally off to Seoul 5 hours and 42 minutes late...

Bees

This is the first picture I took in Korea. I snapped it on my first day as I walked through a park to my school for the first time.

I was shock at the size of these bees, about as thick and as long as my middle finger. They looked majestic as they glided and hovered to and from their inverted-top-shaped nest that teetered at the end of a bush, busier or at least as busy as anyone I encountered in Korea.

I took a few seconds, in awe, to just take in this sight that was so completely new to me. It was so surprising to me that young children skateboarded, played catch, and squeaked around in training-wheel-bound-bikes, old men and woman strolled about but no one even glanced, nor even batted an eyelash at these king bees.

Day after day as I past through the park, I would say hello and marvel at the sight of the giant bees. Never hesitating to push back the boughs of the bush to get a good look at my new friends. The wonder and beauty of such a sight always made me smile from ear to ear.

One day when I made my daily stop to visit the bees. I was stung, shocked actually at the fact that the bees were not there, the nest was not there either. Actually the whole bush was hacked in half, only the stump and a few branches near the lower half of the thick bush remained. It looked like someone just sawed the top right off. The sight was so unusual in the presence of so many bushes that were green, full, and untouched. I was saddened that my friends were gone.

I showed one of the Korean teachers at my school the (above) picture that I took of the bees. Her eyes bugged out at the sight of the picture and she immediately asked me if I had taken the picture.

I said "of course".

She lively exclaimed "Do you know what those are???"

I said "They look like bees to me.... what are they?"

"They are king bees!"

At that time I explained to her the majesty of the bees.

She really didn't seem to be interested in my beautiful and careful assessment of these little majesties.

She interrupted, "If you get stung by one of those you die!"

Jeju Is Famous For Three Things: Women, Rock, and Wind

The rock on Jeju is all volcanic, there's practically no surface water after it rains. The friendly locals of Jeju love to claim that their rock resemble things. Check out the pics above for Dragon rock, and two different man faced rocks.

We couldn't help but check out the famous women of Jeju, particularly the Haenyeo, the wetsuit clad divers of Jeju. These woman are said to dive to the depths of 20 M without any scuba gear. They are only equipped with their black wetsuits, blue fins, gloves, a floating basket, and a net. They make a living diving for shell fish that line the sea bed around Jeju. Nowadays, few young woman are choosing this profession, consequently most of the women are seniors. Alissa and I took a few priceless minutes to watch the the Haenyeo toil in the soil of the sea. When they surface they let out a soft tranquil moan that sounds much like the muted moan of a sea lion in the distance. The sounds of the Haenyeo and the waves crashing along the rocky shore was one of the highlights for Alissa and I.

Luckily, all three days on the island were beautiful, hot, sunny. Their were no hurt feelings about us not experiencing Jeju's famous wind!!!

We Checked Out the Shadiest Aquarium Ever.... Pacific Land on Jeju

It was a strange highlight on our marvelous 3 day holiday (May 25-28).

We paid for a dolphin show but ended up getting a lot more than what we paid for...

First we took in a monkey show that was perhaps one of the most ridiculously funny things I've seen in my short life so far. The pesky primates were all dressed in gym clothes and were all working out and playing sports at the command of their trainer. I think I laughed the whole way through. At the end, they even preformed a rock concert, playing the ukulele, drums, cymbals, and organ. Absolutely, and most positutely, ridiculous!!!

Then the seal show- a whole lot of balancing stuff on their noses, slapping, clappin, and barking (or what ever that noise that they make is called).

The dolphin show was spectacular and action packed as the dolphins, weaved, dove, balanced, dived, sprayed, twirled, and dazzled the small crowd.

At the end Alissa and I paid the 5 dollars to shake the fin and get a picture with one of the dolphins!!!

The SEX MUSEUM!!!!

It boasted that it was "The First and Largest Sex Museum in the World" with 79, 080 square feet of sexual sexiness....

who was I to argue with them.

Alissa and I were especially curious about the sex museum because Korea is so conservative when it comes to sex. Most girls in Korea deny that they have sex and sex is a lot more taboo than it is in Canada. A 25 year old Korean friend of Alissa's even asked her how you get AIDS. Needless to say Korea is a little behind in educating their youth on sex health and education.

The museum was a mixture of education, culture, fun, and of course down right and dirty smut!

Although most of the signage was only in Korean, we still had a blast. Here are some of the highlights of our trip to this stimulating museum ...

• The Phone Booth Phone Sex- one phone booth had a Korean woman's voice and the other had a Korean man's voice.
• The Traditional Korean Honeymoon Exhibit- The exhibit consisted of the facade of an old Korean House, with thatched wooden doors that were covered in rice paper. The rice paper had holes poked out where you were to peek in. When you did this a large screen was playing a porno of a 'Traditional Korean Honeymoon'. The movie had traditional clothes and all (or lack of clothes)!
• The History of the Pad Exhibit- It showcased the evolution of devices used during that time of the month (see above pic).
• The Japanese Animation, Sex, and Culture Room- It was filled with toys, models, displays, and cartoons of popular Japanese adult animation characters.
• The Statue Garden- The entrance of the museum was littered with towering 15 foot granite penises, and of course, vagina, breasts , and many nudes. A group of 70 year old Korean ladies made us chuckle as they posed for a picture under the massive erections of massive erections.

Alissa and Matt Lost on the Back Roads of Jeju!!!

Alissa and I fished up at the tea museum, unable to get a taxi (they were all booked up), we headed out on foot. We trudged along the back roads with our heavy packs around our shoulders. It was so humid the sweat formed a silhouette of our backpacks straps on our thin shirts. We walked, walked, talked, and walked. There were few cars on the newly paved but virtually empty, narrow road that weaved through the dense greenery and small farms.

Feeling the fatigue of the long walk, we decided to stop for a rest against a wall of neatly stacked volcanic rocks that are so characteristic of the island. To our surprise, behind the unsuspecting wall was a swamp loaded with breathtaking lotus flowers. We took a few minutes to absorb the beauty of the picturesque scene. Then we started off again.

Alissa and I were beginning to get exhausted and cranky. We stumbled upon an old church with a small metal cross on its metal frame steeple that was covered in vines. We decided, partly as a joke and partly because we couldn't walk much further, to pray to God for someone, anyone, to pick us up!

Soon as we fished our prayer we saw a white sedan in the distance, jokingly I suck my thumb out (the international symbol of hitchhiking) and sure enough it pulled to the side of the road.

The Korean lady inside could speak good English. She told us to jump in and to just move the Bible that was in her back seat to the front!!!

God had answered our prayers!!!

She asked us where we were headed. We timidly replied...

"The Sex Museum"

We Frolicked Around the Largest Tea Farm in Korea.

The Tea Museum that we went to see in Jeju was pretty boring because there was no English signage. We really enjoyed slutting our taste buds out to the green tea, green tea biscuits, green tea cheese cake, and green tea ice cream that we consumed in the on site tea house though.

The view was also amazing, tea bushes lined up in neat little rows for as far as the eye could see. We played around in the tea fields as the distant hum of the tea cultivating machines coated the crisp, fresh air.