The Most Horrible Bus Ride In Our Lives To The Remote Laos Province of Phongsali

Our bus was scheduled to leave from Oudomsai to Phongsali at 8:00AM. It didn't leave until around 12:30 PM. We spent the time waiting at the run down terminal discussing the geopolitical ramifications of an ever increasing Chinese presence in Northern Laos with an author of a book on the people of Laos (see Link). We chatted for awhile while sipping on fresh Laos coffee the traditional way. Fresh grounds are placed in a sock-like filter and boiling hot water is poured into the sock. When the liquid is fully drained from the filter it is poured into a cup with sweet condensed milk at the bottom. Mix it. Drink it. It's quite sweet but good indeed.

When the bus finally arrived at the station for boarding all chaos broke loose as locals carrying live pigs in nylon sacks and roosters in bamboo woven baskets pushed their way into prime seats saving their spots with their bags and jackets.

In the confusion Matthew helped shove our bags onto the roof of the old, dusty bus where a man stacked them with bags of corn, rice, and other goods until the single decker bus resembled a dilapidated double. Alissa made her way onto the bus and threw someone's bag onto another seat securing us seats together. After witnessing some tense moments as arguments broke out over prime seats, we were finally off.

We made many, many stops, in fact, we stopped in every little town along the way. It was slow, but beautiful to experience the small unchanged village life of the different hill tribes.

The houses were made of bamboo or wood, simple, traditional, and functional, not much has changed in these villages for hundreds of years. The women still adorn exotic, traditional costumes. It was like flipping through real life pages of National Geographic.

Every time the bus stopped, locals would haul their chickens off the bus which sometimes required a bus attendant to climb on to the roof of the bus to retrieve the cargo. Everybody on the bus really had a laugh when the bus driver accidently pulled away before the attendant made his way down from the roof. After riding the twisty road for a few hundred meters, the attendant, who must have been clinging to the roof rails, threw a rope used to tie down the cargo in front of the driver's window to signal distress. The bus stopped to let the man back down into the bus. The look on his face when entering the bus was priceless.

A few hours later we had another laugh at something that was sure to happen. When it did, we still laughed. Kind of like watching the same comedy twice.

Yes, while driving on the twisty dirt roads that spinned up the mountains, a bag fell off the roof. We laughed harder when we confirmed that the bag wasn't ours.

As we traveled along, the bus climbed to higher altitudes and the road got worse with each kilometre, kicking up big plumes of red dirt. The odd patches of road that were paved had large sections washed out from this autumn's flash floods. We still don't know how the shitty bus managed to navigate these giant gaps that swallowed up all but the very minimum of road way required to pass without falling into the mountain valley below.

Alissa claimed she smelt gasoline and was covering her mouth in disgust. We both could smell something a bit off but the smell slowly depleted throughout out long journey North.

It was a hot bus ride at times especially in the heat of midday. The heat was compounded by the fact that all windows had to be sealed closed to prevent the thick clouds of red dust from entering. After a few hours of habituating to the noxious smell of chemicals, finally the source of the odour was discovered. The inconspicuous culprit had two jerry cans of gas wrapped in old clothing. He was ratted out by some of the passengers in front of him. The attendant scolded the man and immediately took the cans of gas and threw them from the moving bus.

A lucky passerby even decided to take his new found treasure home with him. His face looked like he just struck gold as he lugged the heavy cans off the side of the road.

Of course we found the whole ordeal completely amusing. We couldn't seem to stop laughing. It was pretty funny but, then again, we were pretty bombed from wallowing in the fumes for hours!

Soon things started to cool down as the sun dipped behind the mountains. It took a few more hours before we finally reached Phongsali, 12 hours after our initial departure time. We breathed a sigh of relief when our bags were finally lowered from the roof of the bus. Little did we know what was in store for us in Phongsali.