Farting in Korea.... No One Flinches



It's always interesting to observe how a culture reacts to the raunchier, bawdy, side of living. Those aspects that are very visceral and yet so very natural. I believe that by examining closely the culture, manners, and rituals surrounding the of removal of bodily wastes one can gain a better understanding of the intricacies of a culture. Anyways, here we go...



Washrooms in Korea

Of course they're small. But other than the obvious they also usually smell like stinky-skink urine and have no hand soap, warm water, paper towel, hand dryer, and/or hand towel (did I mention that there is NO hand sanitizer in Korea). This is the kicker, about half of the toilets don't have any toilet paper. You gotta bring your own in. The Koreans call it tissue but they use the same roll as paper towel, Kleenex, and as a napkin.

There is always a urinal in the Men's Room and most often the urinal has a window just above it that seems to frame an amazing view showcasing a beautiful cityscape or mountainous landscape. I shit you not (chuckle), some of the most scenic places I've seen in Korea were enjoyed while urinating. The Men's rooms also accommodate a toilet that is in most cases a 'squatter'. A squatter is what it sounds like- a porcelain hole in the ground that can only be used when placing ones body over it in a squatting position.

I have managed to completely avoid using the squatter in Korea. Most of my friends can't believe it. Apparently there is some heavy scientific evidence for the health benefits of squatting. It's supposed to improve the healthy flow of crap in the intestines. That still isn't enough to convince me to squat. To tell you the honest truth I'm a little scared of using the squatter...

It's extremely rare but it happens. Sometimes I got a long one just dangling out then before it splashes gracefully into the water below, I fart. The result is as if some mini toilet terrorist planted a timed explosive device in my feces, trying to exploit the very moment to impart the most destruction. The fart sends little shards flying this way and that. The final product looks as though an artist with only brown paint splatter painted the whole bowl.

If something of this magnitude happened when I was squatting the consequences would be dire.

I guess I could always pack an extra pair of socks.

Hi!