IT WAS A GEEK & FREAK COSTUME PARTY... AND IT WENT A LITTLE LIKE THIS...

There was a strict dress code that was enforced- Geek or Freak!

Although most Geek parties consist mainly of chips and pop... we had a little too much booze!

Gettin Down to Geeky beats from the past kept the party pumpin!

And, of course, how could one throw a kickin party with out shooting off a bag or two of fireworks off the roof of the apartment when everyone was superrrrr slurrrrry drunk!

The Crazy Korean Food that We Eat !!!!

Out of all the crap that I've done in Korea, people at home to seem to be ultra curious about the food. As you know, Korea is notorious for serving almost anything that moves... its second to only China for serving the most seamiest dishes.

They even serve dog!

They have a special breed "Korean Dog" that they breed specifically for eating. They don't just snatch a dog off the street or hit up the humane society for some fresh meat. Last month I saw a truck that had about 15 small cages in it. Each cage contained Korean Dog... they are pretty much treated as cattle here. The Korean people say they look so ugly, but I think they look really cute! You also have to go to special "Dog Restaurants" to eat them... you can't just go to the restaurant down the block... there are no surprises. These dog restaurants are also quite rare in Korea. No kid has ever admitted to me that he has ever eaten dog. I was told that just the old, old Korean men still eat the cute (but apparently quite delicious) dog meat. They believe that eating dog is good for virility and stamina. I was told by a friend that, traditionally, they used to beat the dogs with a bat before they slaughtered them. They did this so the meat that is consumed shortly afterward would be filled with adrenaline and the meat would be more tender and taste better. It was thought that the man eating the beaten dog would absorb this adrenaline and could therefore "preform" better in the sack! I was told that it no longer happens, and the dogs are treated humanely. The story of why Korean people eat dog is actually quite sad...

Because of the extreme poverty and persecution under the Japanese Occupation, and then the poverty that resulted from the Korean war, meat was difficult for the average person to afford. As a result, they resorted to eating cheap meat- e.x. dog. As of late the economy has done tremendously well, but apparently, once you get a taste for dog (like the blood of moral humans) you will never be able to stop consuming it. Perhaps this is the reason why adults won't feed their young children this addictive delicacy (this is just my non-sensical opinion though). Ohh yeah... I used the word delicacy... nowadays it's considered just that and apparently its pretty expensive! I was told by another foreigner that If you eat dog other dogs, because of their keen sense of smell, will be able to smell the consumed dog in your pores, and that they will hate you with their whole soul, and they will instinctively do one of two things... run as far and as fast as they can away from you or ferociously attack you like Bush on Sadam !!!

There is an old saying that I was told by a Korean about the Chinese that could almost be applied to Koreans as well...

"They eat everything in the sky except the planes,
They eat everything on land except the buildings,
They eat everything in ocean except the submarines!"

It's totally true!

Pictured above is by far the grossest thing I have consumed from the sea... It's name, GAYBUL...

In Korea the seafood is so fresh and delicious. If you walk down your block your guaranteed to see at least one restaurant that has many large aquariums packed full of seafood that you didn't even know existed! They have live eels, big fish, small fish, squids, octopus, king crab, sea errchant, and ... the most disgusting, revolting, thing ever witnessed in the sea... GAYBUL... It pretty much looks like a giant uncircumcised penis. It has no eyes and just kind of squirms around like a worm in the sea! Most foreigners squirm at even the sight of such a hideous thing!

One night some other foreign English teachers and I walked past a restaurant with a tank full of the freaky penis shaped abominations of the sea ... one of the teachers dared me to eat one. I said that I would eat one if they ate one.

We agreed to meet the next day to do the deed.

It was a lot grosser then expected! The Korean people actually eat those disgusting creatures raw. They just fish them out of the tank, gut them and slice them into tiny pieces, and serve completely raw. I swear they had just stopped twitching before we chowed down. It tasted bad... real bad. Definitely the worse thing I've tried from the sea since I've been to Korea. I think me and some of the other teachers are going to try the live octopuses next. You actually eat them while they're still alive. I hear that you have to chew them real good so the tentacles don't choke you... you'll never guess what the worse thing I've eaten on land was...

HAPPY 24st Birthday Alissa!!!

We celebrated a good old Korean style birthday...

A cake and "Happy Birthday" song followed by everybody devouring the cake with chopsticks in hand.

Latter we went to a Japanese style pub for food and drink... it was a fun day all round!

WHO'S CRAZY?!?

If you asked my students to use one word to describe their teacher (me) they will unanimously say "CRAZY".

Often the students will ask me, "Teacher, are you crazy?"

I will almost always respond "Yes ... of course!"

It took me a half year to figure out that the word "Crazy"( a word that has 2 meanings in English 1- mentally ill and 2- very fun) has only one meaning in Korea.... mentally ill.

The Korean translation "Michhin" means "Crazy" and only "Crazy"!

So this begs the question... "Do my students really think I am CRAZY?!?"

DUnkin DunkiN at Dunkin DunkIn DonUts- A StaPLE of THE KorEAn DIet

There are many things in Korea that I love, one of the most obvious is the Korean food...

So far I have managed to avoid talking about all the crazy, spicy, and delicious food that Alissa and I have managed to consume in Korea... Sooo this will be the first of many blog entries on some of Alissa and my food experiences in Korea...

When you spend a lot of time completely absorbed in the a different culture, you inevitably get bombarded by all elements of their culture- The catchy, popy Korean songs ("Maria... Ava Maria.."), the weird Historical Dramas on the TV ("Jumon"), the language (Hangul), the fashion (FYI Daegu is the fashion capital of Asia.... snicker, snicker), and of course...

THE FOOD!!!!

Alissa told me last week that she's never truly happy until she gets her morning coffee!

I laugh.

Over the last year or so I have gradually, almost nearly, eliminated the wonderful king of caffeine, coffee, from my diet, and substituted tea instead. But with the arrival of Alissa I have once again been seduced by the bitter, black beauty.

It's actually a misconception that that Koreans mainly drink Green Tea. Actually, I was told by a wise old Korean man that nowadays coffee drinkers almost double tea drinkers in Korea. So you would think that they would have good taste in coffee, right?

Actually, almost all of the coffee consumed in Korea comes from a can or a vending machine and it is almost exclusively instant coffee, the worst of all types of coffee! Ohh No!

Alissa's saviour... Enter Dunkin...

Dunkin Donuts, a USA food chain, has managed to enter Korea and fuse itself to modern Korean culture. They're in every train station and in every major shopping district!!! They're kinda like the Tim Ho's of Korea!!!

Their some major differences of course...

1. they have rice and green tea donuts


2. they trying watering down your black drip coffee when you order it (DAMN NATION)


3. they just started to sell bagels with cream cheese about 2 months ago and about 99.9% of the Korean pop has never tried a bagel!


4. they sell the most beautiful cakes


5. the Korean people like to rip their donuts into small pieces and then share the pieces with their friends so that everybody have a little taste

Ahhh well... It is as close as you get to a Robins Donuts or Tim Hortons. It's one of our favorite restaurants when we miss the "Back in Canada" smells and tastes!

The Beauty of Living Next to a Mountain

Living next to a mountain has many benefits...

1- you can climb it.
2- you can look at it.
3- you can enjoy it.

Coming from Regina, Saskatchewan you really don't take mountains for granted... It takes like 9 hours of driving before you hit one from that prairie mecca called Regina.

When you spend time in the mountains there is no time.

The more time you spend with your friend, the mountain, the more you get to know it-
the more you know the true nature of yourself.

The mountain can teach you many lessons if you surrender yourself to it.

Alissa and I went for a mountain hike on Sun (26th). We reached a peek where you could oversee all of Chilgok (the suburb we live in). Alissa was so moved by the beauty and majesty of the mountain that we made a slalom pact that we would not take for granted this gift just a few minutes walk away from our tinny little villa. We promised ourselves that we would try to climb a mountain every weekday morning. Our first mission ...

Tomorrow morning we would hike Hamjisan mountain and watch the sun rise over the rolling mountain peeks.

MON: the alarm rang, we looked out the window, the sun was already up, we grumbled a little, went back to bed.

TUES: we were hung over from a night of partying with our adult speaking class (Korean BBQ, Soju, a pub, beer, drunkenness, then of course late night Karaoke).... there's no way I'm hiking Mr. Hamjisan!

WED: we roll out of bed at 6:00, half awake, hike to the peek, and watch as the sun rise.

Life is good on the mountain.

What's up with the Korean Public Bath (Matthew's male perspective)

The Korean Public bath or 'mog youk tong' is certainly one of the elements of the Korean culture that I have embraced... This is how it goes down...

First, you find a sign with a symbol that closely resembles a cup of noodles. This weird symbol means that either the place your entering is a cheap love motel or that the building has a public bath in it. You can never find a restaurant that sells cup of noodles in a building sporting this deliciously odd symbol... this I'm sure of!

Second, once you go in and find out that your not in a love motel (see previous blogs for descriptions of these shady little places) the men go to the men's floor and the women go to the woman's floor.

The next thing that happens shocks me, it makes me jump every time I see it, there's really no way to mentally prepare yourself for it ... every time you go it will surprise you and make you jump or at least catch you off guard a little...

Soon as you step off the elevator it hits you... there's like 40 buck naked Korean dudes just 'hanging out' in the lobby... and I mean hanging out in the most literal way I could possibly mean 'hanging out'!!! They all act as though they aren't even naked or maybe they think that they are wearing invisible clothes. Either way its a little weird... It's also a requirement that these places have many leather couches clustered around a big giant Korean made Plasma T.V. The naked dudes love to flop bare balls on the leather and watch their favorite Korean Dramas.

Next, after you get over the initial shock of where you are, you get naked ,throw all you crap in a locker, and make your way past a big glass door... TIP- Make sure you hit up the water cooler before you go in because your at a definite risk of dehydration!

When you get in you usually see a beautiful layout with marble or jade slab floors and walls and skylight ceilings, 3 saunas, a million showers, and maybe 4 or 5 pools... and of course more naked dudes.

It's a requirement that you MUST shower first, even if you just showed at home, you still must shower again. You get 3 options- normal shower (like at the Lawson), sitting down shower (it's like a midget's shower, with a retractable spray nozzle. You sit on a tiny little stool and spray yourself with the retractable spray nozzle) and cripple or lazy mans shower (this is like a massage table with a retractable spray nozzle nearby. You just pay another dude, lay on the table, and he does all the dirty work). After you choose your shower, you use a scrubber and scrub till you skin turns pink and your body's numb from scrubbing off all nerve endings in your entire body. Remember to ask somebody to scrub hard to reach spots like the middle of your back (this is a sign of camaraderie in Korean culture)!

When you look like you got a bad sun burn, it's finally time to enjoy the bath...

I like hanging in the dry sauna first, the temp is usually steady at 83 degrees, and they have herbs that delightfully scent the wood room. When I'm hallucinating from the heat ( or maybe the herbs) I usually take a dip in the pools, there are also many types of pools- hot, hotter, and hottest... and of course how could I forget... ICE COLD! There is even 2 medicine herb pool at the place I go to (this, I hear, is a bit of a luxury). I usually hit up the hottest pool first because after coming out of the sauna it doesn't feel as hot... then, just before I pass out from heat exhaustion I like, crawl to the ice cold pool to revive and refresh my soul. I hang out in the cold then take a dip in the medicine pool.

There's so much to do it's really fun... the most awkward moment was definitely when two 8 year old girls were staring at my penis... I mean everybody in the place stares- they all want to see if the rumours are true about the 'cultural differences'... but who let these 8 year old girls in???
They should be on the girls floor and they were totally following me around... definitely the most awkward moment in Korea so far!

Other than that creepy little incident ... the public bath is one of my favorite places to peace out!

MORE FROM THE KOREAN NEW YEARS TRIP TO PUSAN!!!

1- It seemed so warm at the beach, the temperatures must have been mid- high teens... dreaming of summer in Korea!

2- Alissa posing with the flock of seagulls ... they went ape shit as the ferry embarked on its mission... Alissa stayed cool as a cumber... in the crisper or maybe beneath the cool, cool Canadian soil in the fall.

3- This is one of the many 'postcard' scenes Alissa and I saw on our ferry tour. There were a bunch of old Korean Fisherman Dudes fishing off these rugged little islands.

4- Alissa walking down the mountain path at sunset from Beomosa Temple.

5- Korean culture seems obsessed about their looks ... this is one of many blunt adds for plastic surgery that can be seen all over Korea!

IT'S ONE OF KOREA'S BIGGEST HOLIDAYS, SOLLNAR... THIS IS HOW ALISSA AND I CELEBRATED!!!

1- We went down to Pusan with a pack of other foreigner friends from Daegu. This is a picture of us in the $25 dollar a room ... the haunted $25 dollar a night room!!!

2-A snap of Fess and Me rockin it down by Pusan's Jagalchi fish market. FYI Pusan is the 4th busiest container port in the world!!!

3- Mike and Alissa discuss the awful fishy-fish-fish smell ... It's beginning to smell a lot like Fishmas!!!

4- We got some rad close ups of Great Whites at the Pusan Aquarium... They get so close to the glass you feel like your in the JAWS movie!!!

5- Alissa and I decide to take a romantic ferry tour of Pusan's coast.

Clouds part, It rains, Then comes the sun rays touching and refracting upon the water droplets that coat everything the eye can see... Is it the mountain gods... NO, it's ... Alissa ... she's finally here!!!

I really don't know what the hell that's supposed to mean but I thought it was a good intro into the announcement to all that Alissa is here.

The accommodations are tight... I really mean tight.

My life undoubtably changed for the good since my lovers arrival in Daegu...

We can hold hands and touch every wall in my apartment.

I have no TV or any music so we have nothing to do but bask in each others loving love!

I can stop making out with myself and can once again make out with Alissa!

This is definitely an improvement for me! YES !!! Upgrade!

Dating is fun... I like to date... You can't date by yourself... If you think you are on a date with yourself... your not! Your also not Okay. O. K.

I like dates... and sometimes I drink prune juice.

NEW YEARS EVE IN DAEGU!
It was really a non-event in Korea. They had a zillion people downtown where people were shooting fireworks like it was going out of style ... I felt like I was in a war zone... (North Korea?!?). My friends and I shot some off downtown in front of the clubs!

I GOT PISSED IN CHINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

O.K. I'm finally going to give you the skinny on my whirlwind Christmas weekend in China...

When I got to Shenyang, China it really seemed geographically similar to Regina and my mind drifted to the goings on, the crazy hustle and bustle, of Christmas in Canada (surprise 1). I also found out right away, unlike Korea (and Japan) China builds out and not up( (surprise 2). It took us like 40 minutes to get from the airport to Karli and Alaina's luxury accommodations at SIE university. It was blizzard to watch the intermingling of the poor and rich as I saw BMWs pass by donkeys pulling wagons (surprise 3)!

When we got to the university Alaina asked if I wanted to visit Karli's class and I said "what the hell ... lets do it!" She was teaching a class with like maybe 40 girls and one poor sap boy! After fielding some questions and singing the class Christmas carols, I posed for what seemed like 20 minutes of pictures. After the photo opp we tailed it back to the luxury suite (Karli's apartment) for some Snow ( a delicious beer brewed locally). We got primed up for a few hours and then went out for some deliciously-delicious Chinese food. The Chinese food in China is nothing like the Chinese food we eat in Canada- in fact you can't get anything that you could in a Canadian "Chinese Food" restaurant.

We drank more Snow until we were all quite drunk. Then dipped over to a rippin Club called Sunnys. At Sunnys we danced, laughed, and drank and drank and drank and drank....
It was so much fun to rip it up with some Reginaonions (If that's not a word, it is now). I ended up getting really capped ... Apparently at Sunnys if you order a Vodka and Coke they bring out a 26 and a 2 L !!!

Having spend over 24 hours awake from the time I got up in Daegu (the time change) to the late morning hours at Sunnys, I managed to loose consciousness at the club. It is really unclear whether it was the busy ass long 24 hour day (just power nappin right?) or the 13 hours of straight drinking that did it but ...

The next day I woke up in Karli's King Size Bed in the LuX suite. It was also like 3 in the afternoon!!! What a night, I can't even remember the last part of the night!!! Alaina and Karli managed to give me a wake up call at this time. They told me they were checking to see if I was still alive! We all gathered in the room and just shot the shit about the ridiculously fun night we had when Alaina spotted it...

"What's this???" she said. Pointing to the corner of the room.

Nobody knew... we all looked at eachother. But nobody knew.

Detective Alaina put her hands in it to check its consistency....

"Ah ha! It's water but where is it coming from?"

Detective carefully scanned the walls, ceiling, baseboards ... but nothing

"Well if its leaking water its got to come from somewhere right?"

We all agreed with the Detective Alaina (afterall who would even consider doubting such a careful and well trained detective like Alaina).

We searched but we found nothing at this point the detective smells her hand hope to pick up the scent on the liquid that covers her hand ... although it looks like water... Sherlock Alaina ain't sure about the smell ..

She asks for a second professional opinion...

Enter Hungover "Matty" Holmes (me)...

He proceeds to sick his hand in it and sniff...

Hungover "Matt" Holmes is a forensic specialist when it comes to unidentified and incriminating fluids and liquids (this fact is not disputed by either Detective Alaina or Karli)...

Hungover Matt gives his expert opinion...

"THIS AIN'T WATER!!!"

He comes up with the only logically scenario...

Last night when Matt got home, he must have been so drunk and so disoriented from being in such a different setting that he unconsciously urinated all over the floor in the far corner of this large bed room!!!!!!!!!

In fact, the place where Matt urinated exactly matches the location of Matt's toilet in his small apartment in back in Daegu (Dat Dat DA)... coincidence ....

I THINK NOT!!!!!!

CHINA DAY 3, AFTERNOON, DOWNTOWN SHENYANG

CHINA DAY 3, CHRISTMAS EVE... PICTURES FROM THE CHINESE-JAPANESE WAR MUSEUM

#1- A disturbing replica of a mass grave

#2- We're walking to the museum that is shaped like a book with the start date of the war in big black letters.

#3- A Crazy war scene

#4- Chinese Propaganda

#5- The Crew

CHRISTMAS IN CHINA DAY 1

In no apparent order-

Crystal and Alaina posing with a ping pong lighter... how stereotypically China!

Karli and Alaina really wrecked at the club

Karli in her university class

Crystal, Alaina, and I at the club

John and Alaina "Up'n Smoke"