The Beauty of Living Next to a Mountain

Living next to a mountain has many benefits...

1- you can climb it.
2- you can look at it.
3- you can enjoy it.

Coming from Regina, Saskatchewan you really don't take mountains for granted... It takes like 9 hours of driving before you hit one from that prairie mecca called Regina.

When you spend time in the mountains there is no time.

The more time you spend with your friend, the mountain, the more you get to know it-
the more you know the true nature of yourself.

The mountain can teach you many lessons if you surrender yourself to it.

Alissa and I went for a mountain hike on Sun (26th). We reached a peek where you could oversee all of Chilgok (the suburb we live in). Alissa was so moved by the beauty and majesty of the mountain that we made a slalom pact that we would not take for granted this gift just a few minutes walk away from our tinny little villa. We promised ourselves that we would try to climb a mountain every weekday morning. Our first mission ...

Tomorrow morning we would hike Hamjisan mountain and watch the sun rise over the rolling mountain peeks.

MON: the alarm rang, we looked out the window, the sun was already up, we grumbled a little, went back to bed.

TUES: we were hung over from a night of partying with our adult speaking class (Korean BBQ, Soju, a pub, beer, drunkenness, then of course late night Karaoke).... there's no way I'm hiking Mr. Hamjisan!

WED: we roll out of bed at 6:00, half awake, hike to the peek, and watch as the sun rise.

Life is good on the mountain.

What's up with the Korean Public Bath (Matthew's male perspective)

The Korean Public bath or 'mog youk tong' is certainly one of the elements of the Korean culture that I have embraced... This is how it goes down...

First, you find a sign with a symbol that closely resembles a cup of noodles. This weird symbol means that either the place your entering is a cheap love motel or that the building has a public bath in it. You can never find a restaurant that sells cup of noodles in a building sporting this deliciously odd symbol... this I'm sure of!

Second, once you go in and find out that your not in a love motel (see previous blogs for descriptions of these shady little places) the men go to the men's floor and the women go to the woman's floor.

The next thing that happens shocks me, it makes me jump every time I see it, there's really no way to mentally prepare yourself for it ... every time you go it will surprise you and make you jump or at least catch you off guard a little...

Soon as you step off the elevator it hits you... there's like 40 buck naked Korean dudes just 'hanging out' in the lobby... and I mean hanging out in the most literal way I could possibly mean 'hanging out'!!! They all act as though they aren't even naked or maybe they think that they are wearing invisible clothes. Either way its a little weird... It's also a requirement that these places have many leather couches clustered around a big giant Korean made Plasma T.V. The naked dudes love to flop bare balls on the leather and watch their favorite Korean Dramas.

Next, after you get over the initial shock of where you are, you get naked ,throw all you crap in a locker, and make your way past a big glass door... TIP- Make sure you hit up the water cooler before you go in because your at a definite risk of dehydration!

When you get in you usually see a beautiful layout with marble or jade slab floors and walls and skylight ceilings, 3 saunas, a million showers, and maybe 4 or 5 pools... and of course more naked dudes.

It's a requirement that you MUST shower first, even if you just showed at home, you still must shower again. You get 3 options- normal shower (like at the Lawson), sitting down shower (it's like a midget's shower, with a retractable spray nozzle. You sit on a tiny little stool and spray yourself with the retractable spray nozzle) and cripple or lazy mans shower (this is like a massage table with a retractable spray nozzle nearby. You just pay another dude, lay on the table, and he does all the dirty work). After you choose your shower, you use a scrubber and scrub till you skin turns pink and your body's numb from scrubbing off all nerve endings in your entire body. Remember to ask somebody to scrub hard to reach spots like the middle of your back (this is a sign of camaraderie in Korean culture)!

When you look like you got a bad sun burn, it's finally time to enjoy the bath...

I like hanging in the dry sauna first, the temp is usually steady at 83 degrees, and they have herbs that delightfully scent the wood room. When I'm hallucinating from the heat ( or maybe the herbs) I usually take a dip in the pools, there are also many types of pools- hot, hotter, and hottest... and of course how could I forget... ICE COLD! There is even 2 medicine herb pool at the place I go to (this, I hear, is a bit of a luxury). I usually hit up the hottest pool first because after coming out of the sauna it doesn't feel as hot... then, just before I pass out from heat exhaustion I like, crawl to the ice cold pool to revive and refresh my soul. I hang out in the cold then take a dip in the medicine pool.

There's so much to do it's really fun... the most awkward moment was definitely when two 8 year old girls were staring at my penis... I mean everybody in the place stares- they all want to see if the rumours are true about the 'cultural differences'... but who let these 8 year old girls in???
They should be on the girls floor and they were totally following me around... definitely the most awkward moment in Korea so far!

Other than that creepy little incident ... the public bath is one of my favorite places to peace out!

MORE FROM THE KOREAN NEW YEARS TRIP TO PUSAN!!!

1- It seemed so warm at the beach, the temperatures must have been mid- high teens... dreaming of summer in Korea!

2- Alissa posing with the flock of seagulls ... they went ape shit as the ferry embarked on its mission... Alissa stayed cool as a cumber... in the crisper or maybe beneath the cool, cool Canadian soil in the fall.

3- This is one of the many 'postcard' scenes Alissa and I saw on our ferry tour. There were a bunch of old Korean Fisherman Dudes fishing off these rugged little islands.

4- Alissa walking down the mountain path at sunset from Beomosa Temple.

5- Korean culture seems obsessed about their looks ... this is one of many blunt adds for plastic surgery that can be seen all over Korea!

IT'S ONE OF KOREA'S BIGGEST HOLIDAYS, SOLLNAR... THIS IS HOW ALISSA AND I CELEBRATED!!!

1- We went down to Pusan with a pack of other foreigner friends from Daegu. This is a picture of us in the $25 dollar a room ... the haunted $25 dollar a night room!!!

2-A snap of Fess and Me rockin it down by Pusan's Jagalchi fish market. FYI Pusan is the 4th busiest container port in the world!!!

3- Mike and Alissa discuss the awful fishy-fish-fish smell ... It's beginning to smell a lot like Fishmas!!!

4- We got some rad close ups of Great Whites at the Pusan Aquarium... They get so close to the glass you feel like your in the JAWS movie!!!

5- Alissa and I decide to take a romantic ferry tour of Pusan's coast.

Clouds part, It rains, Then comes the sun rays touching and refracting upon the water droplets that coat everything the eye can see... Is it the mountain gods... NO, it's ... Alissa ... she's finally here!!!

I really don't know what the hell that's supposed to mean but I thought it was a good intro into the announcement to all that Alissa is here.

The accommodations are tight... I really mean tight.

My life undoubtably changed for the good since my lovers arrival in Daegu...

We can hold hands and touch every wall in my apartment.

I have no TV or any music so we have nothing to do but bask in each others loving love!

I can stop making out with myself and can once again make out with Alissa!

This is definitely an improvement for me! YES !!! Upgrade!

Dating is fun... I like to date... You can't date by yourself... If you think you are on a date with yourself... your not! Your also not Okay. O. K.

I like dates... and sometimes I drink prune juice.

NEW YEARS EVE IN DAEGU!
It was really a non-event in Korea. They had a zillion people downtown where people were shooting fireworks like it was going out of style ... I felt like I was in a war zone... (North Korea?!?). My friends and I shot some off downtown in front of the clubs!

I GOT PISSED IN CHINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

O.K. I'm finally going to give you the skinny on my whirlwind Christmas weekend in China...

When I got to Shenyang, China it really seemed geographically similar to Regina and my mind drifted to the goings on, the crazy hustle and bustle, of Christmas in Canada (surprise 1). I also found out right away, unlike Korea (and Japan) China builds out and not up( (surprise 2). It took us like 40 minutes to get from the airport to Karli and Alaina's luxury accommodations at SIE university. It was blizzard to watch the intermingling of the poor and rich as I saw BMWs pass by donkeys pulling wagons (surprise 3)!

When we got to the university Alaina asked if I wanted to visit Karli's class and I said "what the hell ... lets do it!" She was teaching a class with like maybe 40 girls and one poor sap boy! After fielding some questions and singing the class Christmas carols, I posed for what seemed like 20 minutes of pictures. After the photo opp we tailed it back to the luxury suite (Karli's apartment) for some Snow ( a delicious beer brewed locally). We got primed up for a few hours and then went out for some deliciously-delicious Chinese food. The Chinese food in China is nothing like the Chinese food we eat in Canada- in fact you can't get anything that you could in a Canadian "Chinese Food" restaurant.

We drank more Snow until we were all quite drunk. Then dipped over to a rippin Club called Sunnys. At Sunnys we danced, laughed, and drank and drank and drank and drank....
It was so much fun to rip it up with some Reginaonions (If that's not a word, it is now). I ended up getting really capped ... Apparently at Sunnys if you order a Vodka and Coke they bring out a 26 and a 2 L !!!

Having spend over 24 hours awake from the time I got up in Daegu (the time change) to the late morning hours at Sunnys, I managed to loose consciousness at the club. It is really unclear whether it was the busy ass long 24 hour day (just power nappin right?) or the 13 hours of straight drinking that did it but ...

The next day I woke up in Karli's King Size Bed in the LuX suite. It was also like 3 in the afternoon!!! What a night, I can't even remember the last part of the night!!! Alaina and Karli managed to give me a wake up call at this time. They told me they were checking to see if I was still alive! We all gathered in the room and just shot the shit about the ridiculously fun night we had when Alaina spotted it...

"What's this???" she said. Pointing to the corner of the room.

Nobody knew... we all looked at eachother. But nobody knew.

Detective Alaina put her hands in it to check its consistency....

"Ah ha! It's water but where is it coming from?"

Detective carefully scanned the walls, ceiling, baseboards ... but nothing

"Well if its leaking water its got to come from somewhere right?"

We all agreed with the Detective Alaina (afterall who would even consider doubting such a careful and well trained detective like Alaina).

We searched but we found nothing at this point the detective smells her hand hope to pick up the scent on the liquid that covers her hand ... although it looks like water... Sherlock Alaina ain't sure about the smell ..

She asks for a second professional opinion...

Enter Hungover "Matty" Holmes (me)...

He proceeds to sick his hand in it and sniff...

Hungover "Matt" Holmes is a forensic specialist when it comes to unidentified and incriminating fluids and liquids (this fact is not disputed by either Detective Alaina or Karli)...

Hungover Matt gives his expert opinion...

"THIS AIN'T WATER!!!"

He comes up with the only logically scenario...

Last night when Matt got home, he must have been so drunk and so disoriented from being in such a different setting that he unconsciously urinated all over the floor in the far corner of this large bed room!!!!!!!!!

In fact, the place where Matt urinated exactly matches the location of Matt's toilet in his small apartment in back in Daegu (Dat Dat DA)... coincidence ....

I THINK NOT!!!!!!

CHINA DAY 3, AFTERNOON, DOWNTOWN SHENYANG

CHINA DAY 3, CHRISTMAS EVE... PICTURES FROM THE CHINESE-JAPANESE WAR MUSEUM

#1- A disturbing replica of a mass grave

#2- We're walking to the museum that is shaped like a book with the start date of the war in big black letters.

#3- A Crazy war scene

#4- Chinese Propaganda

#5- The Crew

CHRISTMAS IN CHINA DAY 1

In no apparent order-

Crystal and Alaina posing with a ping pong lighter... how stereotypically China!

Karli and Alaina really wrecked at the club

Karli in her university class

Crystal, Alaina, and I at the club

John and Alaina "Up'n Smoke"

I DID SEOUL, BUT I'M NOT A SOLDER

I went up to Seoul on a solo mission to run a marathon on Dec 17th. I decided to crash Seoul a day early to check out some of the cool stuff in one of the biggest cities in the world. I really had no plan I was just goin with the flow. This is a short explanation of some of the crazy crap I saw on the busy day...

1- Fingering out the Seoul Subway system is in many ways like doing a Sudoku puzzle and I'm not going to lie to you... I have never did a Sudoku puzzle!

2- after cracking the Secret Seoul Subway System Code I booted it down to Insa-Dong, an area that is popular for its art galleries, tea houses, and some old traditional buildings and architecture. Soon as I peaked out of the subway exit, I was bombarded my a fusion of old and new buildings-

What really caught my eye was a giant Bell Tower with Korean Dudes equipped with traditional outfits and sick weaponry from back in the day! I managed to get there exactly at noon to witness the ringing of the bell ceremony. Basically It when t like this... A dude screams something in Korean, other Korean dudes bangs on drums for a little bit, all the Korean dudes march up the bell tower, they scream more, they use a striker to hit a bell bigger then my apartment, It's so frickin loud that your eyes go blurry, you can feel your brain shake around in your skull and your ears feel like they're growing bigger then your body!

3- After the Bell Tower I decided to check out the only head Buddhist temple that is located in the middle of a city, Jogyeasa Temple. It was blizzard to see such old and traditional architecture of the Buddhist temple overshadowed and engulfed by massive skyscrapers and modern office buildings.

4- After increasing the peace at Jogyeasa, I hulled down to Insa-Dong Gil (Dong means area or neighbourhood and gil mean street or road). This street is a long passenger street that has many narrow allies filled with little shops. First, I stumbled into a building that had a Andy Worhol Society Exhibit... It was kindda like dropping LSD... the off the wall, zany art engulfed this building that twisted and turned up like a building in a Dr. Suess Story. I snapped a few pictures of some of the crazy crap!

5- When I left the art gallery I found myself caught in a reenactment of the Traditional Korean Wedding Parade. People were jumping out of the way of the horses that lead the parade of drummers, dancers, percussionists, and the wedding party down the narrow, twisting street. I manage to follow the parade and catch the wedding ceremony that was even translated into English so I could understand it.

6- I had numerous pots of tea in a Korean Tea house, met Erin and ate 2 plates of pasta at a shody restaurant- then it happened.... It snowed and snowed and snowed.... big, heavy, almost fake looking snow flakes filled Seoul's night sky.... and coated Seoul in a wet heavy coating of Christmas White... My body was sore from a full day of sightseeing with my heavy backpack, I was full of pasta, and it looked like I would be doing tomorrow's full course marathon in the wet thick snow. I found a hotel by the marathon course, and crashed for the night... little did I know that the beautiful snow that had painted Seoul in White would lead to my demise in the marathon the next day...

7- I ALMOST DIDN'T FINISH THE MARATHON!!!

The Han Gang (gang means river) Marathon's course took place entirely along the river's edge in Han River Park. This river is the most famous river in Korea. It has played an important role in Korea's history as it is almost 1 Km wide and it runs right through Seoul. It is also the location of Korean's highest grossing Movie called Monster (its about a monster that lives in the Han river and kills a lot of people).

Anyway, the weather was probably around -8 C when the marathon started- there was also a cold wind that blew right through my thin running gear. When the marathon started I just let myself take in the majestic winter atmosphere, I noticed that my body was a little sore from the long day yesterday but I just ran through the discomfort. I was running at a good pace, and really enjoying the feeling of running through the slippery, wet snow... The course was great until I realized that it was one of those courses where you actually run the same course as the half marathoners then turn around and run the same course again... this is in many ways like a sick joke to marathoners who have ran 21 KM then have to turn around and see the same crap again... It's Kinda like a more painful version of the Bill Murary movie "Groundhog Day"!!! At the halfway point my time was at about 2 hours so I was on pace to finish the marathon at around 4 hours... which would have been my personal best then about at the 23KM point it happened...

My leg slipped on the ice and jerked my right knee out... It happened so fast and it didn't really hurt at the time so I regained my composure and continued to run... about 10 Km later the pain was almost unbearable... and was only getting worse... my jogging turned to limping, and then to a painful hobble... I though about quitting because of the pain and I was a little concerned about long term damage... but I just couldn't give up.... as my pace got slower and slower my body was unable to keep warm- the cold wind turned my warm salty sweat into a chilly coating that turned my hands and face purple...

Finally I limped across the finish line... at the time of 5:00...

In the past weeks I have did much to heal my body up and I'm ready to start training for my next full marathon at the end of January.

Don't Quit
Quitting is for Quitters

More From Seoul (It was a fun day of sightseeing)...

#1- Some people say Korea is a little backwards!!!

#2- Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow (these red fluorescent crosses are seen all over Korea)

#3- Lonely in Seoul

#4 and #5- I was caught in a Traditional Marriage Parade!!!

Pics From My Solo Mission to Seoul On the Weekend of Dec. 16-17

#1- A Crazy Building Downtown

#2-A Dragon at a head temple downtown Seoul. This dragon is struck by monks to pay respect to the creatures of the sea and to rid the temple of evil (note the skyscraper in the back ground).
#3- Seoul has a mix of the trendy and new with the traditional.

#4- A Traditional Soldier in Dress performing the traditional bell ringing ceremony on the biggest and loudest bell I've ever seen or heard!

#5- Me and Bell Ringing Korean Dude.

Late Merry Christmas and Early Happy New Years!!!

I was so damn busy the last few weeks that I didn't get to wish everyone seasons GRrreetings so here it goes...

Merry Christmas to ...

my mom- I definitely missed her Christmas Hugs and Cooking- especially the damn awesome ninnimo squares and deliciously scrupmtious apple tarts!

my dad- so I heard their were 4 batches of nuts'n'bolts this year!

brother- mainly for teasing my dad about burning or eating too much of the nuts'n'bolts!

My dogs (Ginger and Bief) for always being happy and trying to sneak some ordurves from the living room table when no ones looking.

My Beautiful Girlfriend Alissa- for just being so hot, cool, and awesome all the time!

(O.K. I already wished those people a Merry X-mas over the phone but the next people are brand new XMAS shout outs)

Alania, Karli, all the foreign teachers in China, and all the University Administration in Shenyang- Your generosity and warm Christmas Spirit made me feel like family over the Christmas Season!!! You Rock!!! (Yes, that right, I went to China for Christmas!!!)

Fuchs- For partying extra hard over the Christmas season- I'm sure this hasn't changed this year!

the Fuchs Family for putting up with Fuchs extra hard partying!

Goose- Quack-Quack- I have a message for you- Your girlfriend really misses and loves you!

the Harrison Family- I regret that I couldn't make it to your Christmas Party and say something completely stupid this year... maybe next year!

Lake- For always laughing and getin real wrecked over Christmas!

Jesa- For all the Christmas Hugs and good vibes you send. And for always helping put my ten sets of Christmas icicle lights on the ceiling of the apartment... I missed that this year... YOU ROCK!

Mark- For always drinking with me late into the night and for all the simple conversations we have when were there. Ohh yeah... and for always helping me move my crap into and out of my apartment.

Greame- For your zany humor, blunt conversations, and all the late Christmas Nights in the past. Hope your still keepin it real!

Cori- For your extreme kindness and of course your Christmas baking.

Zerr- For all the ridiculous things you do and say- and all the Christmas drunkenness! And all the wild parties you throw this time of year!! "Why you so crazy!!!"

To Stella- for all the "STELLA" things you say.

the costella family- for having us over for a fest everyyear- and of course the cookies.

To Tony- For the fun partying and for putting up with Zerr every day... that takes talent!

To Tera and Jill- For putting up with Tony everyday.

Tower for schooling me on the Fooseball table every Christmas while I'm half cut!

Chris and Jo- I really missed your Christmas partying and swank ass wine drinking!!! Ohh and doing all the fun couple stuff together, and the dirty conversations we always seem to get into at your apartment (why does that always seem to happen?)

Fanta- For actually leaving comments on my blog and for being so dang sweet all the time!

Rachelle- For sending me that Christmas Card Computer Internet thingy- It really really really made me smile when ever it popped up thank you for putting me in the spirit.

Joyce- I'm still talking about the Cali trip.... The Koreans love the stories from that trip!!!

Rene - For all the positive vibes -

Sarah - for being so funny and for putting up with your crazy Auntie

The Fesser Family- For raising such a beautiful daughter and putting up with her "I Miss Matt" everyday.

Stonge- ... (silence is where Jeff works his magic)

To all the Cvep Staff and all my old co-workers at the Ranch- I guess I missed out on the billion Christmas parties that are thrown there every year!

My Grandmother- Merry Irish Christmas Greetings.

To the rest of my family on both sides- I miss spending the holidays with your hospitality, cooking, and conversation.

To all my friends in Korea- I'll be ripin it up with you soon.

To All the Korean Teachers- (Stephanie, Jamie, Silver, Jerry) Thanks for all the smiles and Christmas Cheer at work all the time!

And to All the people that I have unknowingly left off this list... I'm sorry I forgot you... I assure you that I am still your friend and I still care about you ... I'm such a Dushe Bag... I can't believe I forgot you!!!!

Happy Birthday Stephanie!!!

How Korean Birthdays Go Down

It was my friend Stephanie's Birthday on Friday. She invited all of the teachers at the school out for lunch at the Sea House for all you can eat western style seafood buffet. I packed my stomach full of many different types of sea food. It was deliciously delicious! She followed the normal Korean protocol on Birthdays in Korea... It goes like this...

1- The birthday Girl (or boy) decides where they want to go and invites their friends the place of their choosing.

2- They only invite the people that they really want to come because in Korea it is tradition that the Birthday Girl picks up the bill!

3- It is customary to give money as a gift if you are invited or bring a cake. Since cakes are not easy to come by, as it is not that common to have an oven in your apartment, most cakes are bought at one of two popular chain stores that are located within 5 or ten minutes walking distance from anywhere in Korea- Dunkin Donuts or Paris Baguette. These cakes pretty much look like the cakes in Canada but usually they are much smaller. Although they look the same they sure don't taste the same. Everything western in Korean tastes a little off- cake is no exception. To me the cake taste like they loaded up on the butter and there is an overall lack of sugar in the icing... but none-the-less it tastes great (like many things in Korea the cake is an acquired taste).

4- In Korea they light the candles on the cake and sing "Happy Birthday" just like everywhere else in the world (I really wonder what nationality invented the song "Happy Birthday", I mean all languages sing "Happy Birthday"... Imagine the royalties if you wrote that baby- cha cha ching!!!). In Korea they have a special system for how many candles are on the cake. The tall candles represent 10 years and the small ones represent 1 year.

Because all of the teachers at the school love Stephanie and because we failed to decide who would buy the cake, Stephanie received 3 bathed cakes!!!

Drinkin Mockalee at a Mockalee Joint in Cheonan And then to Bubi Bubi (pronounced Booby-Booby) for Some Pool and Lazer Dance moves...

#1- Me and Erin terrorize Cheonan in our matching vans

#2- Ronnie shows off his Korean manners by respectfully accepting a drink of Mockalee (you ain't losein no documents any time soon with that technique)!!!

#3- Johnny Beating Ronnie in Pool

#4- Kyle pouring Mockalee from a Kettle (mockalee is a Korean undistilled rice wine that looks like milk)

#5- Erin face down in a bowl of mockalee... Gombae!!!